A Non-Custodial Mom’s View: Back to School 2011

Today, children are preparing to jump on big yellow buses just in time to hit the books and rejoin their previously scheduled social lives in the halls of educational institutions around the country. In my house, one child is still sleeping while another insists on both hiccups and somersaults at the same time, causing me to be wide awake at much too early an hour. But as I threw my feet over the bed and stretched, my thoughts became consumed with another household.

I haven’t heard the sounds of my older children’s voices in over three weeks now. I have called many times, left almost as many messages, and have finally called their father’s phone, begging for a call back before their return to school. Still, nothing. I have no idea where their hearts and minds are this morning as they prepare for their first day back to school.  I only know that it is indeed their first day back to school, thanks to the wonders of technology and the school district’s website.  And, I only know which district they are in – not the name of their elementary or middle schools.

Noah is in 8th grade, Faith is in 5th grade, and Chloe is in 3rd. That’s as much as I know. What will they wear today? Do they pack their lunches, or stand in a long line in a cafeteria? Do they really ride a bus, or does someone drop them off at school? When they are done at the end of the day, will they go straight home and start homework, or is there another plan? Do they regret, as much as I do, that now truly the end of summer is here and they only spent 5 days with me? Or, is that the furthest thing from their hearts, as the busy-nes of life overtakes them?

Whether they can hear my voice or not – whether they ever read this blog or not – I must say a few things.

Chloe, continue to dance like no one is watching. Remember that God placed that dance in your soul. You will always be an inspiration to others, most of all me. Let the freedom in your heart always supersede any worries in your mind.  Always allow the Lord of the Dance to lead your life, and none other. In this quest, even at your young age, I know you can be amazingly successful. I love you more, Flutterby.

Faith, continue to love and care and wear your emotions on your sleeve. Do not let anything break you down, and always be proud of who you are. Remember that God painted absolutely every part of your body and he does not make mistakes. He gave you that smile, those beautiful curls, that love, and even that skin, for a very specific reason. Rejoice in it and love who you are constantly! You have reminded me so often that it’s the little things in life that are more important than the big things, so today I will celebrate you by pausing for the little things and letting the big things pass me over without worry. I love you to the moon and back.

Noah, be yourself. Do not let others influence your behaviors or your thoughts. Be strong in who God calls you to be, not in who those around you want you to become. Do not let ANYONE look down on you because you are young. Set an example to those around you, instead. You have reminded me of that scripture many times, as I have re-visited our conversations from this past summer. I am confident that if we both continue to run the race in front of us, the outcome will be much different than it was this summer. I love you forever and a day.

To all three of you: Feel the wind through your hair today and know that the binding force between me and each of you is the Creator that can reach down and connect us in such small ways. I love you all. My heart is with you as you start the beginning of a new journey, even if my hands can’t guide your moments. Never Forget and Always Remember:

Think of me everyday.
Hold tight to what I say,
And I’ll be close to you,
Even from far away.
Know that wherever you are,
It is never too far.
If you think of me,
I’ll be with you.

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