{28 June 2011}

Because sometimes it just helps to write through it all….

Our tenants have decided, no more than halfway through their lease, to stop paying rent.  Just stop. And not return calls. So. Now we get to threaten eviction and legal proceedings, and more wonderfully: in 30 days, their actions may cause our entire family to be interrupted again. You know, while I’m enduring a high risk pregnancy, while my husband is stateside – I get to go live with the kiddo in our house in NC while Mr. Marine stays in VA to finish up the next 9 months of his responsibilities here. My only hope currently is that the tenant’s command will force him into living up to his obligations, but given how much I trust the Marine Corps right now, that hope is slim.

I’m exhausted, hungry all the time, fighting blood sugars that are now very unstable, and not really much enjoying this pregnancy.  I know that’s horrible to say, but it is where I am, and if you don’t like it, just stop reading. I’d give just about anything for more of the “normal” pregnancy issues and be able to give up the stressors of reading the labels on absolutely everything I eat. If I could have a burger on a bun with onion rings and follow it up with cheesecake, that would be amazing, thank you.  And no – I don’t want sugar free/carb free recipes, because it doesn’t taste even remotely the same.  It’s like me telling any other pregnant woman to satisfy her Twinkie cravings with a rice cake; not exactly going to work.

I want to throw a temper tantrum and bawl my eyes out, but my head hurts and that would make it worse. I’m fairly certain I shouldn’t be living on tylenol these days.

I want to be excited about my trip to Indiana to see family, but now I’m stressed about finances and all of the traveling between here and there makes it difficult to begin with. So, could someone just invite a free teleporting device, please?

Yes, I’m throwing a temper tantrum and a pity party, and I really don’t like being negative, nor people who are negative, so this is making me more upset with myself.  But, the reality is that I can only put a positive spin on life for so long before I start to go absolutely stir-crazy with frustration, and I really need God to stop trusting me so much and take some of this off of my plate. Okay? Great, thanks.


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