This is not meant to be a pity party. Rather it’s an “I’m here and I may as well accept it and write through it” type of post. And further, to let the rest of my fellow military wives know that they’re not the only ones feeling it – because let’s be honest, we ALL go through this from time to time.
I am lonely. Pretty much miserably lonely, actually. I’ve got a couple of friends here, and they’re good women, certainly. But, mostly, this is a duty station with very little social life. I miss the weekends of a houseful of people, impromptu barbecues, and just hanging out with people. REALLY miss it.
I have some very very dear friends who know exactly what it’s like to be me – married to a Jarhead who deploys often, and has now been moved into a very foreign duty station – but they live in … Hawaii, South Carolina, California, and other random remote places, which doesn’t allow us to visit much.
Now, that’s not to say that I can only socialize with other wives who know exactly what it’s like to be me – though that DOES make this life a bit easier – but, it is to show how this all works. You get significantly established in one duty station. You become attached to the places that surround you, and (more importantly) to the people you live life out with. And then, suddenly, you’re all scattering across the country – or further abroad – and it’s … not easy.
I am thankful my husband is home; do not get me wrong. For that, I must be thankful for this duty station. I have too many friends whose men are currently serving overseas, and my prayers are with them daily while I am reminded of my own blessings for the next 1 1/2 years. But I am yearning, in a greater way than I’ve ever experienced, for real true live friends.
Beyond the loneliness, there are other frustrations. The summer tends to make the loneliness disappear more easily – the sun keeps me smiling, for certain. And it’s nowhere near summer yet. I would about cut off my right hand and sell it to be able to afford a date night with my husband, but money is forever tight and recent circumstances have made it even that much worse. Recent “friends” whom we had grown to love in this area have decided that hanging out with the boss (for that is what Chris is to a lot of them) is not cool. All of these things pile up to give me a very crummy yucky feeling in the bottom of my stomach, and I’m just tired of trying to ignore that, I guess.
For my civilian friends and family members who read this, please keep this as a reminder to befriend the service members in your community. Further, please do NOT take for granted the family that literally lives 2-3 blocks away from you – or even 4 or 5 hours. That is a greater blessing than you may ever realize.
For those of you who are also in my boat, thanks for listening. Thanks for nodding your head, patting my hand, and whispering that it will indeed all be okay again – especially after a good long vent. I am so blessed to know so many amazing military wives, no matter how far away you live!