Yesterday I completed the most emotional project I’ve ever tackled. But, before I show you, you’ll have to take a journey with me.
23 March, 2007 … I worked a partial day in my law office, drove home and strapped in the last of my remaining belongings, and waited for the bus to pull up to the driveway of our beautiful home. We all were holding our breath, waiting to exhale, as one popular movie so eloquently put it. We’d been living in what still seems like a hell on earth for the past several years, suddenly facing reality in that past month, and now just waiting to start the next life the Creator was holding our hand into.
I held them tightly. I reminded them of my undying love for them. I watched their smiles turn to sadness and their laughter turn to tears and my heart broke like nothing I had imagined could ever happen. Most of my readers know my back story, but for those of you who don’t, that’s the day I became the non-custodial parent.
My life since then, in this past three years, has been amazing. I miss my kids every single moment I breathe, but outside of that, life is perfect. I am married to a man who is not only my partner but my protector and hero. I have a beautiful 16-month old blessing from above and it delights me every day to see her daddy becoming wrapped around her finger. I create with a passion again that had died so many years ago, and it thrills my heart like nothing I can explain.
Except for the one thing I couldn’t touch, until yesterday. For over five years now, my oldest children’s scrapbooks have sat untouched. When any portion of joy remains gone from your life, the hardest thing to do is create and that’s how it was in the last two years of my marriage. For the past three years, since the day I drove away, I have been unable to face the pain that comes with knowing where to go next.
And so, yesterday (on my mother’s birthday, in what I consider a tribute to her ability to love me even through the hard times), I pulled out a single picture of each of them, and I began to create. For five hours, I played with paper, adhesives, ink, and chalk, and I came up with a “Bridge” page. This page is a means of transitioning from one “life” to the other in their scrapbooks. There are still two years prior to the divorce that need to be covered in their albums, but I can’t look at those last two years in the same light that I would have four or five years ago, and so I felt it imperative that I just stop exactly where I had stopped, write a letter to each of the kids (which will be on the facing page of their “Bridge” pages), and then move from there into where I left off.
There were so many of you that encouraged me throughout the day, and for that I am eternally grateful. It was absolutely the most emotionally exhausting day I’ve faced in creating, but it was also the most rewarding.
And so, today, I face my own Bridge. This is the day that http://oseven11creations.com merges with “As I Was Created” and my writing and paper worlds combine. Thanks for all of the love and support throughout the past three years, and I am excited as I let these two worlds combine.
And now, for the Bridge pages: